k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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