somebody snuck up and got me drunk
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
