Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
