Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
"it" just moved
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Randomize
