and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I touched a dick in church today
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
