Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Come share oat with me in your robe
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
