I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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