His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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