yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
