I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
