no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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