I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
