i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
