OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize