Duck Duck Cougar?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
