So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I wish I only lived at night.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just found a bag of teeth...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
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