and i looked up. we had an audience...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
