Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
