I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
