Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
