i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
