Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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