Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
try to milk me bitch
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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