Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
