New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
