so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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