Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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