I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
