Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
