there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
