You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I wish I could punch you in the face.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
