He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Ladies don't puke and tell
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
