Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
