I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I checked into jail on foursquare
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
