Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
