Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Randomize
