She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
