There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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