Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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