Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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