that's an acceptable place to lick
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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