i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
