So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
