Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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