East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
