I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
So many bounce houses so little time
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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