When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
