sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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