My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
