Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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