i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
