so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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