i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
